Sunday, May 15, 2016

Strange feeling of loneliness at IITH

Yesterday when I arrived at IIT Hyderabad, a strange feeling crossed my body, and to tell you the truth it was very strange and horrible.

I am writing this post to make myself understand what actually happened.

So what actually happened? What made me feel like I should go back to my home as soon as possible?

Actually my room-mate who is from NIT Trichy went to the city, so there was no one in the room. And even when he was there, he was talking to his other friend in Telugu, and most of the people here communicate in their native language only when talking among themselves. Obvious, it is.

Then, the sweeper lady knew only Telugu, and it was a hard moment making her understand what I want to say.

But this language barrier couldn't bring all this strange feelings. Let me see what else happened.

In the morning, I had a meeting with an M.Tech student, who made me question my decision of coming here for research internship. He asked me what I know in Machine Learning already, and what sort of project and research work I would be doing. And I was completely blank.

I guess this was one trigger.

Then, in the afternoon, I wasn't feeling very well. I had eye infection a few days back, and I guess the eye drops that the doctor prescribed has taken a toll on my eye sight. It was a lot blurry yesterday, although it's better now.

I guess these two things mainly triggered the fear.

I couldn't do anything after that. So, I went to sleep after that. But alas, the heat and the lack of mattress didn't allow that. I was all sweating when I woke up.

Thankfully, things seemed normal by evening.

But all this has made me realize the importance of why human form relationships. Maybe we do so evolutionary, because it suppress the fear of the unknown, that there would be someone if something bad happens. We start enjoying our time with the people, and so the fear hides insides.

But remember, it's not gone. It's there. I just got to see a sight of that and it was horrifying.

It was the fear of the unknown that troubled me yesterday.

But, what can be done for that? I don't know right now. It came and went by. I hope my future would have the answer for the same.

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